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5 ways to tell if you are in love not infatuating


Sometimes, what we think to be love is actually infatuation and vice versa. It is too much admiration for someone that causes you poor judgments.

You feel so much attraction to the point that you become head over heels for that person. Feelings like these are usually mistaken for love but it is actually way different.

However, you may find yourself in situations where you can not decide if it is love or a lookalike, these are 5 steps to know if it is true love or infatuation.

1. Love grows, infatuation falls

Yes, we fall in love and subsequently, we grow in love. It is dangerous when you just “fall” in love and there is no growth. Falling is characterized by an action that is out of control and that is how infatuation happens. You are suddenly spell-bound by an uncontrollable emotion.

On the other hand, true love usually has a more stable foundation than emotion. It is usually founded on time spent together growing in friendship, respect, and trust.

2. Love takes time, infatuation could happen at first sight.

Please note that It is impossible to love at first sight, because you cannot know a person at first glance. What you actually feel is attraction at first sight usually because of the person’s physical appearance and too much of it is infatuation.

Yes, erotic love normally begins with attraction but you cannot call it “love” until your affection has grown through deeper personal connection like friendship. It takes time to grow that kind of care for someone.

3. Love accepts infatuation is blind.

Another cliché we are fond of is, “love is blind”. It is infatuation that is blind. When you are infatuated with a person, all you can see are his/her positive traits.
No matter how much your family or friends try to tell you what they do not like about your ‘love’, you would never see their point. All you see is perfection.

When you love a person, you see his/her flaws, but you still accept the person. You do not tolerate his/her bad behaviors, but instead, you try to help him/her change them for the better.

This is why the first step explains that love “grows”, as it gives you time to see all the flaws and not just “fall” blindly.

4. Love is unconditional, infatuation is not.

If you say you love a person, because he/she is good-looking, kind, God-fearing, or talented, then it is not love. It is only infatuation.

True love has no reasons. You love a person simply because you love him/her. Over the time of being together (growth) and going through different circumstances, you have learned to value him/her for whatever all he/she is.

5. Love corrects, infatuation tolerates.

When you are infatuated with a person, you try to please him/her all the time. That is why even if he/she is into something you do not agree with, you pretend to not care about it.

However, when you love a person, you care for his/her welfare more than his/her approval.
If you know what he/she does can have a harmful effect on him/her, you would be willing to risk whatever relationship you have just to rebuke the person.

The keyword is “time”, love takes time while you don’t even check the time in infatuation. You begin to act like you are possessed but these will always help you snap out of whatever spell is over you.

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Written by Mateen Badru


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